Certainty

There is one thing about which I hold myself certain. One thing I consider inviolable truth. It is that certainty is poison to the human spirit. The more certain you are of something the less human you become. Witness fundamentalism everywhere.

If you are certain of something then that is something that you must do your utmost to inject doubt into. Examine under the light of many worlds, consider it as the ancient Persian would both drunk and sober, include as many more altered states as your lifestyle allows, consider whether you would believe the same if your moral basis were built upon something else. Perform experiments, physical or social as necessary, to test your understanding and the veracity of your certainty and keep notes. Make it impossible for yourself to ignore the edges of your certainty where logic or fact tells you otherwise. Because once you refuse to allow yourself to see one small facet of reality you begin to blind yourself to all of it. And thence, by all measures of psychiatry, lies madness.

I have yet to find evidence that certainty in any thing does more good than harm. However while there are truths that lack contrary evidence there are no truths that merit certainty. I accept even my initial statement in this post as a poison, it poisons my ability to make statements unambiguously and it poisons my ability to trust in the things that people say. Frankly, that may be a good thing in some cases. I accept that one poison regardless but no further. No other certainty will I knowingly accept into my self.

Analogies

I love a good analogy. I love finding an aesthetic analogy with great depth. I love crafting them and plumbing them to see how far it can be taken before it breaks down.

In that vein, I feel like I've been playing my life so far as Pachinko. I'm moving to the poker table people. GTFO of my way.

Trading and other things

Yuck. Account looks like crap but i haven't been focusing on it like I should.
On the other hand, October is looking net positive which will be the first in a long number of months. I think the problem has been a lack of focus on acceptable risk for my size and lack of mechanical implementation. Both stemming from there just not being any opportunities.

In the rest of life. I've been working to transition from my current systems admin job into something with a future. Not that this position couldn't be a career with a progression but it won't be for me because it simply doesn't interest me. I'll never excel at it because, frankly, I hate the work. So I'm transitioning to development, which was my original intent and where my (lackadaisical and overall pretty abysmal) education is.

To the present and future, I've been studying Pro C# (I could link the book but I'm lazy and at work) and building a WPF app for rendering and manipulating fractals. I've tried MOOCs and a few books, and I always get bored. I bloody well know what a loop is. Variables are dull. I comprehend OOP, inheritance, multiple inheritance (and the lack thereof), interfaces, blah blah blah. Thankfully, C# has been just different enough (with language features I'm not familiar with) throughout the process that I've been able to skim this book in spots without either missing anything or getting fed up and skipping whole chapters then getting frustrated at having to go back and look up some minutia 3 chapters later.

Or maybe it's just that I have some level of external accountability in the relationship I've been cultivating with a prospective employer. That always helps focus.

Anyway. Enough of this. I have a meeting in 5 and one more unrelated topic I need to post on.